Frustrated

Originally Posted by rawresale

I would go with your husband and have him sit in the cab while you load everything just to prove a point

I second that. Dont even let him get out of the truck.

That stinks.. Sorry you had to deal with that!! People get set in their ways.. it annoys me to no end to run into closed minded individuals!

Just wait til you start getting some gray.

Just cuz there's some silver on my temples doesn't mean I'm a frail old man. I'm still 6'2" and 2-oh-something, and I can still load a 40" Sony Trinitron in the back of my truck unaided. In fact, having a "helper" screws up my system. Just back up & let me do it my way. Yes I'm straining, but it's 325 friggin pounds. You grabbing it will throw off my technique and together we won't be able to do what I can do by myself.

Try not to let it bother you too much. We all deal with people's (mis)perceptions to some extent. I deal with the other end of the spectrum. I'm 63 yrs old, 6'2" and 210 pounds. But I have A LOT of trouble with arthritis; balance to the point of needing a walker at times and no stamina. I can't grip and carry like most people. So when I do pickups, I either work alone so I can go at my own speed or I stand around and "supervise". I've gotten my share of snide comments. The young guy I'm working with now understands knows "labor" is his department.

No sweat when it comes to others opinion, as long as you get your scrap that's all that counts.

I personally think maybe she just didn't want you to get hurt. If I show up to do a pickup a lot of time the owner is right there helping me.
And like Mick, I don't turn any of that down. That's where I miss my partner, he was the brawn, I was the brains.

Basically, it boils down to 2 things. 1: You want her stuff. 2: The customer is "always" right. She has her reasons. Whatever they are. As a business people her reasons are not our concern. Her "stuff" is. In the end her stuff is what you want. Not her admiration of your physical abilities. So relax, enjoy the down time while your husband flexes his muscle, and then like Mick says, "laugh all the way to the bank!".

Maybe she was afraid you would get hurt and sue her.

I consider myself a feminist, but my back hasn't got that level of committment to the cause. I will generally not refuse help from the testosterone crowd but I guess I might be miffed if another woman didn't think I could do a job.

You know the old saying..."opinions are like a******s, everyone has one and if i wanted to here yours i would have asked you to fart".. Bring the husband and do all the work yourself. And when she stands there with her mouth open tell her she should close it before she swallows a fly.....

She might just simply believe men and women have certain roles, and feel uncomfortable when dealing with women who do not believe the same.

For example, I was brought up to believe that women should be protected, that doors should be opened for them, that their seat should be pulled out when you go to dinner with them, that you should walk on the outside closest to traffic when walking down the street, etc. I remember dating a woman that was in the Air Force, she was an Aircraft Mechanic, but looked like she should be a model. She had this huge giant chip on her shoulder though when it came to things like opening doors, or paying for a date, she was actually really combative about it. Needless to say, I didn't date her past a few times because it became uncomfortable to be around her.

Just like some people are brought up to believe in God and a specific religion, other people were brought up to believe that men and women each have specialized responsibilities that relate to their sex. Regardless if it's right or wrong, it's what they believe and feel comfortable with. We can either choose to accept them as being different than us, or we can choose to take offense that they do not believe as we do and allow it to affect us in a negative way.

I try to think of it like this. Celebrating our differences makes each of us special. If everyone believed how I do, then I wouldn't be special at all, I would be a communist, haha.

The comments about insurance and being sued also have merit.

If I can generalize without offending anyone, men and women are physically built differently. This isn't a misconception, it's a reality. Men almost always have thicker bones and heavier muscle. This isn't always true, but generally speaking this is the case, and we all know it. The woman in question probably didn't want you to get hurt, probably couldn't even stand the thought. Also, you might have seemed very intimidating to her, specially if she knew she couldn't move the heavy stuff, but here another woman was saying she could. That has to be in some way a little threatening. But she's already been dealing with the fact that most men are stronger than she is, so that threat was put to bed long ago.

It could be all these factors, but I have to believe, specially since she asking you to come and get the scrap, that she wasn't attempting to go out of her way to offend you, on the contrary, she probably was trying to save you some heavy lifting. Her intent wasn't evil, mean or bad in any way. In the end, if you understand what her actual intent was, you probably will not feel offended.

Scott