first email ive sent asking for scrap

so some co-op bikeshop is closing down and the past three times ive driven by ive found curbed stuff so i sent them this email, whatcha think?

Bike Scrap

Ive noticed the past couple days you guys have been curbing a lot of stuff... a lot of stuff thats in my living room, kitchen, yard right now

Well yeah. im an avid metal scrapper as well as an avid bicyclist and would be stoked if we could work out a deal where i could come pick up the stuff youre tossing out. And as an avid craigslister, i could keep a lot of stuff from ending up in the scrap yard as well. let me know if your interested, please.

name
contact info

I actually met some employees but didnt think to ask them about future metal, doh

Please don't take this the wrong way, but if this was sent to a business, good luck getting a call. Here is what I would do:

- Make sure grammar, capitalization is correct, etc.
- Remove the "well yeah." It's unprofessional.
- Take out the "... a lot of stuff thats in my living room, kitchen, yard right now"
- Introduce yourself at the top, then start explaining what you want. I.e. "Dear company,
Hi, my name is bluemate and I have noticed that your company has been throwing out a lot of (Insert commodity here)"

- Take out the avid craigslister part, and say something along the lines of "I could help keep some of your stuff out of the landfill bla bla bla"
- Put please at the beginning of the sentence.

This is just what I would do, other people may say otherwise.

on the other hand it is one them hippy co-op's

I swung by last night and all that day's metal was gone but i got a sweet work bench, spare helmet pads and bunch of stickers