Keith welcome to SMF. First the fact that you were looking for answers, demonstrates your not stupid. I never put the money first, the goal of supporting your family is the priority and that will required using your resources as best you can. Work out what works best for your needs, get your "scrapping process" down and the money will come in time.
As far as the wife, I can tell you the only answer "show her the money", but it takes time. Do your best, take care of your family and you both will see it's not stupid.
Burn the midnight oil and read, read some more of the old post here at SMF.
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