We'll try to cooperate fully with the IRS, because, as citizens, we feel a strong patriotic duty not to go to jail. - Dave Barry

Skiing combines outdoor fun with knocking down trees with your face. - Dave Barry

People who want to share their religious views with you almost never want you to share yours with them. - Dave Barry



The word user is the word used by the computer professional when they mean idiot. - Dave Barry

The simple truth is that balding African-American men look cool when they shave their heads, whereas balding white men look like giant thumbs. - Dave Barry

Geographically, Ireland is a medium-sized rural island that is slowly but steadily being consumed by sheep. - Dave Barry

Once again, we come to the Holiday Season, a deeply religious time that each of us observes, in his own way, by going to the mall of his choice. - Dave Barry

The problem with winter sports is that - follow me closely here - they generally take place in winter. - Dave Barry

Snowboarding is an activity that is very popular with people who do not feel that regular skiing is lethal enough. - Dave Barry

Happy Friday to all!

Sirscrapalot - I have been a gigantic Rolling Stones fan since approximately the Spanish-American War. - Dave Barry