The Sirscrapalot quote thread..

[Sirscrapalot]

Sex is a part of nature. I go along with nature. - Marilyn Monroe

Sex education may be a good idea in the schools, but I don't believe the kids should be given homework. - Bill Cosby

I blame my mother for my poor sex life. All she told me was 'the man goes on top and the woman underneath.' For three years my husband and I slept in bunk beds. - Joan Rivers



Sirscrapalot - Enjoy your weekend!

[Sirscrapalot]

Ha ha! I left out some...an its my thread so I'll double post away!

Only those who will risk going too far can possibly find out how far one can go. - T.S. Eliot

If you aren't in over your head, how do you know how tall you are? - T.S. Eliot

I have discovered in life that there are ways of getting almost anywhere you want to go, if you really want to go. - Langston Hughes

Humor is laughing at what you haven't got when you ought to have it. - Langston Hughes

I believe that if you don't want to do anything, then sit there and don't do it, but don't expect people to hand you a corn beef sandwich and wash your socks for you and unzip your fly for you. - Shel Silverstein

Tell me I'm clever, Tell me I'm kind, Tell me I'm talented, Tell me I'm cute, Tell me I'm sensitive, Graceful and wise, Tell me I'm perfect - But tell me the truth. - Shel Siverstein

It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are. - E.E. Cummings

A politician is an arse upon which everyone has sat except a man. - E.E. Cummings

Sirscrapalot - The most wasted of all days is one without laughter. - E.E. Cummings

[Sirscrapalot]

I like to read some of you know this...so..today I've pulled quotes from some poets I can dig. I know..me an poetry..mind boggling.

Enjoy.

Do not go gently into that good night but rage, rage against the dying of the light. - Dylan Thomas

When one burns one's bridges, what a very nice fire it makes. - Dylan Thomas

Whatever talents I possess may suddenly diminish or suddenly increase. I can with ease become an ordinary fool. I may be one now. But it doesn't do to upset one's own vanity. - Dylan Thomas

Sirscrapalot - A cynical young person is almost the saddest sight to see, because it means that he or she has gone from knowing nothing to believing nothing. - Maya Angelou, 1928 - 2014.

[NHscrapman]

An old Cherokee is teaching his grandson about life:
A fight is going on inside me, he said to the boy. It is a terrible fight and it is between two wolves. One is evil - he is anger, envy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good - he is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith. This same fight is going on inside you - and inside every other person, too.
The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather,Which wolf will win?
The old Cherokee simply replied, The one you feed.



We do not inherit the land from our ancestors, we borrow it from our children.

[Sirscrapalot]

I liked this quote so I stole it from MetalAbestos..

He doesn't know it yet, but now he'll be famous cause he made my quote thread. Muahahaha!

“A good character is the best tombstone. Those who loved you and were helped by you will remember you when forget-me-nots have withered. Carve your name on hearts, not on marble.” --Charles H. Spurgeon.

Full article at Scrap Metal Forum: http://www.scrapmetalforum.com/day-l...#ixzz34CItZzj0

Originally posted by MetalAbestos at the thread above. Thanks for the contribution!

Sirscrapalot - Beware of false knowledge; it is more dangerous than ignorance. - George Bernard Shaw

[Sirscrapalot]

Double Quote day!

I've only been to these foreign countries: Canada, L.A. and Miami. - Larry the Cable Guy

One of my little girls is named Reagan. Her first words were, 'Mr. Larry, tear down this crib.' That was her first words, it was very sweet. My first words were, 'Are you going to finish that sandwich?' - Larry the Cable Guy

When Pixar calls and says, 'Hey, you wanna be in a Pixar movie?' you don't do a lot of contemplating! - Larry the Cable Guy aka Tow Mater, from Cars..did I really have to point this out?!

I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. - Fred Allen

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion. - Fred Allen

A committee is a group of people who individually can do nothing, but who, as a group, can meet and decide that nothing can be done. - Fred Allen

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare. - Fred Allen

Some movie stars wear their sunglasses even in church. They're afraid God might recognize them and ask for autographs. - Fred Allen

California is a fine place to live - if you happen to be an orange. - Fred Allen

As always..a good weekend to all!

Sirscrapalot - I play a musical instrument a little, but only for my own amazement. - Fred Allen

[Sirscrapalot]

I've got no dark secrets, I wasn't beaten up, my parents were kind to me and there was a low crime rate where we lived. Maybe that's where the comedy comes from, as some sort of reaction to the safe, boring suburbs. - Will Ferrell

James Caan told me at the end of filming 'Elf' that he had been waiting through the whole film for me to be funny - and I never was. - Will Ferrell

Members of the Senate and House, if they want to send troops into war, should be forced to send a family member. That would really make everyone stop and go, 'Ohhh-kaaay.' - Will Ferrell

Aren't we all striving to be overpaid for what we do? - Will Ferrell

Smartness runs in my family. When I went to school I was so smart my teacher was in my class for five years. - Gracie Allen

This used to be a government of checks and balances. Now it's all checks and no balances. - Gracie Allen

When I was born I was so surprised I didn't talk for a year and a half. - Gracie Allen

I love food: biscuits and gravy, cheese grits, spaghetti and meatballs, chicken-fried steak with white gravy... but my favorite dish is my wife's beanie weenie cornbread casserole. It's so good. It sounds stupid, but if you eat it, it's heaven. Of course, it's only something you can eat if you've got a lot of money. - Larry the Cable Guy

What a piece of garbage this smart car is. There's a commercial - the smart car has zero percent interest for six years. Well, good, I got zero percent in six years in buying this smart car. I'll tell you that much. I mean, it's ridiculous. My buddy has a smart car, totaled it. He hit a deer tick. - Larry the Cable Guy

Sirscrapalot - Our whole wedding cost 180 bucks. Afterward, we re-heated lasagna for everyone and set off fireworks. - Larry the Cable Guy

[Sirscrapalot]

I found this one...KZ, NH...you should get a laugh. Rest of you folks..I hope you do to, an if not...I'm laughing for all of you.

Most of us spend the first six days of each week sowing wild oats; then we go to church on Sunday and pray for a crop failure.
- Fred Allen

Sirscrapalot - Hanging is too good for a man who makes puns; he should be drawn and quoted. - Fred Allen

[Patriot76]

Sir, whenever I am down and out I come to your thread to laugh.

Thank you.

[Sirscrapalot]

Sir, whenever I am down and out I come to your thread to laugh.

Thank you.

Your welcome my friend. Thank you for letting me know it does some good now an then.

I think that's my favorite quote so far.

Sirscrapalot - That crossover of whether it's entertainment or news is the biggest crock of b.s. in television today, because it's all entertainment. - Vince McMahon

[Sirscrapalot]

As promised the Father's day Quotes! Funny, sappy, we got it all.

Read. Enjoy. Then go pop a beverage fire up the grill, have the kids fetch you more beverages and enjoy your day!

Dad, wherever you are, you are gone but you will never be forgotten. - Conrad Hall ( for my wife, as her father passed away )

Anyone can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad, and that's why I call you dad, because you are so special to me. You taught me the game and you taught me how to play it right. - Wade Boggs

It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton

It is a wise father that knows his own child. - William Shakespeare

I decided in my life that I would do nothing that did not reflect positively on my father's life. - Sidney Poitier

When it comes to Father's Day, I will remember my dad for both being there to nurture me and also for the times he gave me on my own to cultivate my own interests and to nurture my own spirit. - Jennifer Grant

To be as good as our fathers we must be better, imitation is not discipleship. - Wendell Phillips

I would say my greatest achievement in life right now - my greatest achievement period is - and I'm still trying to achieve it - is to be a wonderful father to my kids. - Bo Jackson

I am not ashamed to say that no man I ever met was my father's equal, and I never loved any other man as much. - Hedy Lamarr

A father is a man who expects his son to be as good a man as he meant to be. - Frank A. Clark

It is easier for a father to have children than for children to have a real father. - Pope John XXlll

My father was my teacher. But most importantly he was a great dad. - Beau Bridges

When I was 18, I thought my father was pretty dumb. After a while when I got to be 21, I was amazed to find out how much he'd learned in three years. - Frank Butler

When I was a kid, I used to imagine animals running under my bed. I told my dad, and he solved the problem quickly. He cut the legs off the bed. - Lou Brock

A father is always making his baby into a little woman. And when she is a woman he turns her back again. - Enid Bagnold

Pt 2..next up.

Sirscrapalot - On a roll.

[Sirscrapalot]

Last..one..I swear. So many to choose from...

On with the show!

My father confused me. From the ages of one to seven, I thought my name was Jesus Christ! - Bill Cosby

My father only hit me once - but he used a Volvo. - Bob Monkhouse

Any man can be a Father but it takes someone special to be a dad. - Anne Geddes

My father used to play with my brother and me in the yard. Mother would come out and say, "You're tearing up the grass." "We're not raising grass," Dad would reply. "We're raising boys." - Harmon Killebrew

My Father had a profound influence on me, he was a lunatic - Spike Mulligan

The older I get, the smarter my father seems to get. - Tim Russert

Every mother generally hopes that her daughter will snag a better husband than she managed to do...but she's certain that her boy will never get as great a wife as his father did. - Unknown

My father didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence B. Kelland

A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. - Billy Graham

Sirscrapalot - Sometimes the poorest man leaves his children the richest inheritance.- Ruth E. Renkel

[Sirscrapalot]

An now we know why dogs an cats can't make peace...





Sirscrapalot - Get over here! - Scorpion, or the cat in this video

[Sirscrapalot]

It is much easier to become a father than to be one. - Kent Nerburn

Watching your husband become a father is really sexy and wonderful. - Cindy Crawford

I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out. - Jay London

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. - Fred Allen

Being a father to my family and a husband is to me much more important than what I did in the business. - Tom Bosley

"Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up." - Ray Romano

There should be a children’s song 'If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep. - Jim Gaffigan

My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family. - Jeff Foxworthy

Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. - Jack Handey

The only Father's Day tradition in my family is the annual conversation he and I have where I say, 'Hey, Dad, what do you want for Father's Day this year?' and he says, 'Nothing.' Then I ask my mom what I should get him and she says, 'He likes sandalwood soap, dangly jewelry and Chanel No 5 perfume. - Michael Showalter

Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield

My dad used to say 'Always fight fire with fire,' which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade. - Harry Hill

On the perfect Father's Day. There would be just Dad, wearing his oldest surviving undershorts, free of pressure, maybe just sitting in front of the TV, watching the NBA finals. There would be no conversation, other than Dad periodically observing that these players today could carry the ball across Montana and never get called for traveling. … Of course, that's not all. You'd also make a restaurant reservation, and at the end of the day, you'd dress up and go out and have a nice dinner, during which you'd propose a toast to Dad. Who would be back home, in front of the TV, happily asleep in his veteran underwear. - Dave Barry

Pt 3!

[Sirscrapalot]

I coulda made a new thread, but why bother...

I give to you...Dancing animals to the 80's song..Push it!

May it make you laugh an look silly if anyone is around you at the time.



Sirscrapalot - Push it..push it...- Salt n' Peppa

[Metalbestos]

I'm going to share a few of my fathers famous quotes in appreciation of making the sirscrapalot world famous quote thread.
The first three quotes are from when my dad when he took me to baseball games when I was younger .
" look if I want a mounds bar do you think I have to call your mother for permission ?"- mom getting on him about finding a mounds wrapper stuffed inside the sofa.
" I know you want to pitch , everyone does . You have the arm for it but I need you to play third because your not afraid to stop the ball "
"Stop swinging at the high stuff , make them earn there pitch"
"If I set up a tire in the back yard and charged you money to throw footballs at it , you would think I was crazy"- some circus we were at somewhere
"Always quit the day before you get hurt, you only get one body and that's going with you from job to job"
" work smart not hard , you have moved that three times , where you goin with that ?- moving cement when we did a neighbors driveway a decade ago.
" don't ever say you can't , you can do anything if you stop and think about it"- can't remember the exact reference . Had to do with bidding something. Side job of some sort.
"I wouldn't start that truck to do a job for less than $500and that's not including help ,gas , wear,tear,insurance,food,tools ya see these things add up and extra materials and hidden expenses are going to eat you alive. You need to be thinking of this stuff before you even drive to look at a job , you get hurt and your s.o.l. My boy"
"I swear . I hope I eat something besides spaggetti and chicken some time in the next 20 years" - heard this every time we had chicken or spaggetti for dinner for over 3 decades. Still hear it about once a year.

That post hit close to home because I'm going to be a dad in about a month and this Father's Day I got to talk with my father for a few hours on Father's Day . It was nice to spend time with him . All,I can say is..

" I hope I can be as great a father , as my father was to me . He has taught me more than words can say and he is by far my best friend . The best thing I think he has taught me was just shut up and listen "

[Sirscrapalot]

Nice quotes there Metal!

I like the circus one..lol.

I thank you for the contribution!

Edit: Hit post to quick..also my congrats on the future bundle of joy ya got coming!

Sirscrapalot - Metal's pug is awesome sauce

[Metalbestos]

[Metalbestos]

Nice quotes there Metal!

I like the circus one..lol.

I thank you for the contribution!

Edit: Hit post to quick..also my congrats on the future bundle of joy ya got coming!

Sirscrapalot - Metal's pug is awesome sauce

Word on the street is you guys like pics .

[Sirscrapalot]

Ah hAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!

Sirscrapalot - Still laughing.