It is much easier to become a father than to be one. - Kent Nerburn
Watching your husband become a father is really sexy and wonderful. - Cindy Crawford
I wanted to take up music, so my father bought me a blunt instrument. He told me to knock myself out. - Jay London
My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense. - Fred Allen
Being a father to my family and a husband is to me much more important than what I did in the business. - Tom Bosley
"Having children is like living in a frat house - nobody sleeps, everything's broken, and there's a lot of throwing up." - Ray Romano
There should be a children’s song 'If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself and let your dad sleep. - Jim Gaffigan
My wife is so analytical with raising kids, and I am not. My feeling is if they turn out good, then that means I was a good daddy and put a lot of effort into it. If they turn out bad, it means they took after her side of the family. - Jeff Foxworthy
Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. - Jack Handey
The only Father's Day tradition in my family is the annual conversation he and I have where I say, 'Hey, Dad, what do you want for Father's Day this year?' and he says, 'Nothing.' Then I ask my mom what I should get him and she says, 'He likes sandalwood soap, dangly jewelry and Chanel No 5 perfume. - Michael Showalter
Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof. - Rodney Dangerfield
My dad used to say 'Always fight fire with fire,' which is probably why he got thrown out of the the fire brigade. - Harry Hill
On the perfect Father's Day. There would be just Dad, wearing his oldest surviving undershorts, free of pressure, maybe just sitting in front of the TV, watching the NBA finals. There would be no conversation, other than Dad periodically observing that these players today could carry the ball across Montana and never get called for traveling. … Of course, that's not all. You'd also make a restaurant reservation, and at the end of the day, you'd dress up and go out and have a nice dinner, during which you'd propose a toast to Dad. Who would be back home, in front of the TV, happily asleep in his veteran underwear. - Dave Barry
Pt 3!
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