Okay so I was on this airplane once and the pilot came on the speaker and said the usual things.
"We'll be cruising at 35,000 feet..."
So then he puts down the microphone without turning the speaker off and he turns to to co-pilot and says,
"Man right now I could use a good ******** and a cup of coffee."

Well this flight attendant goes zooming up the aisle to tell the pilot that the speakers on and this guy in the back yells after her,
"Hey toot's don't forget the cup of Coffee!"