pjost - Sorry about these "cruelties" of life, those type of events would make anyone reflect on past memories. The good times we had with our families in the past should be how we remember them when they are not with us anymore. Your post makes me think how I would deal with this if I was you. Honestly I have no clue how I would and only can hope you find the answers allowing you to do so. I can only offer what I have always believed, everything happens for a reason in life. The lessons of life are often cruel and seem without purpose. These unfortunate events in your life come as one of "life lessons" and I hope what you learn only leads to a better times for your family (especially your mom).
My mom (dad too) raised five all of us are a very close family. One brother lives next door, two brothers within three miles of me. Only my sister, who lives in South Dakota is at a distance. Even with her being away from the rest of us, me are one of my brothers visit her every year. She comes here often as well. My mom lives just a mile from me and just returned from South Dakota visiting my sister. We have been a very fortunate family and for the most part a great life. We have not had a death in the family since 1991. Life's "cruel" lessons have come our way! In 1979 a aunt and uncle (my dads sister) were both killed in a auto accident, they had four kids(ages 14 to 8). My mom was determined those kids knew they still had a family. Even though three of us had already left home and the youngest two would soon as well. She added to our family, a life lesson, family takes care of each other. From 1979 until 1992 it seemed like we had a family funeral every year. In 1988 my grandfather past away, he lived with our family since I was 10. He was the most decent person you could ever meet, He taught me more than my dad, my mom thought of him as her own father. A couple of days before his funeral in Arkansas, my dad and I were trying to make arrangements for the rest of the family (most of us had moved away from Arkansas). I worked for a major Airline and one of the benefits is reduced rates for immediate family, this was a key to getting everyone there. My mom was in Maryland at the time, as my sister was expecting her first kid. She wanted to be at both places at the same time (impossible), my dad finally told her stay with my sister. He said "a new life is as important to the family as the passing of a family member", another life lesson. In 1991 my dad passed away, from injuries he suffered in a auto accident, he was in the hospital for 38 days, with only thing keeping him there was the equipment he was hooked up to. My dad was the smartest man I have ever known. He had a hard time teaching anybody else though. He did teach me about dignity, he believed their was no dignity or life with a "machine" being the only thing keeping you here. I along with my siblings struggled with this, we all knew what we had to do, the hardest thing any of us have ever done. Another life lesson and made us a better family!
jpost take care of yourself, your family and especially your mom. Thank you for this post, I haven't seen my mom since she returned from South Dakota, Tomorrow going to call her in the morning and take her out for dinner. Thanks again, my moms been back a week now and I should have seen her already.
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