My wife wants me to find another hobby

Scraping metals is really my passion. But, after almost 7 years of doing it, my wife wants me to find a new hobby. She doesn't understand that scraping metals is my only way to cope with my PTSD from previously serving the country. How can I make her understand that it's not easy to let go of something you are really passionate about?

My guess would be that the scrap hobby is moving into her space. My advice would be to not bring home so much at one time that it cannot be stored out of site. As it is broken down and separated, it is kept out of site and neatly stored. It should be taken back regularly to not offer the opportunity to be criticized. Two mots come to mind; Out of sight, out of mind, and happy wife, happy life.

Make a point to let her know the proceeds of your scrapping has bought her a really nice gift or dinner out.

The trick might be : don't bring scrap home

maybe consider mini warehouse?

I can understand as my wife doesn't like it either. I was fortunate enough that my house is on a few acres. A fence hiding my - in her words junk -in my words valuable inventory - solved my problem. You may not have that option. The old saying "out of sight, out of mind", allowed me to continue. Good luck.

Originally Posted by wildliferacer

Scraping metals is really my passion. But, after almost 7 years of doing it, my wife wants me to find a new hobby. She doesn't understand that scraping metals is my only way to cope with my PTSD from previously serving the country. How can I make her understand that it's not easy to let go of something you are really passionate about?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_vows

Back to the OP and PTSD ?

Maybe it's something that fades with time but never completely goes away ? Got called into a spur of the moment meeting at work a couple of months ago. It felt like an ambush so i picked out the guy that was leading the meeting and gave him a whole rasher of grief.

That's the thing. Take out the leader of the gang and the rest will back off in fear.

Completely mis-percieved the situation and was acting on instinct. (I don't do well in groups.) In their eyes they were trying to offer me a promotion in the company. In my eyes, they were trying to screw me over by putting me in charge of the most difficult people in the company to manage.(The truth of the matter is probably somewhere in the middle.) Pretty well convinced them i'm not the right man for a management position in the company with that one. * Whatever *

I don't know what it's like for you but it's mentally exhausting for me to be working around people all the time.

That's the way i explained scrapping to my wife. I'm the kind of guy that needs lots of solitude. Scrapping is a simple task that i can get lost in for awhile. It helps me find peace of mind.

I've seen it with other scrappers too. A few are kind of bitter and angry but they are right in the zone when their hands are busy with breaking something down. Some of the most content people you could ever meet when they're lost in their work.

I agree, people are a completely unknown factor, you have no idea on what their motives are, or their reaction to a certain or uncertain situation is going to be. Due to their enviroment, upbringing, performance, knowledge, or lack of it.

Training with a group of people brings all of you up to the same (high) standard, you know what they are thinking, how they will act and how if you all wok together, the job will be done.

Add in a bunch of random factors of common life, and knowing that only a few have the same agenda as you...
Its not going to end as well.

That's what I like about scrap metal, its all known factors, I know what I'm doing, how I'm going to do it, the tools I use, how much work to do, and what not to do.

And in the end I know I am going to get X amount of $$ per X amount of weight.
No arguments there. Its a known fact.
I dont have to convince anybody of anything I already know. I can rely on myself.

Originally Posted by HipoGear

You haven't stated WHY she doesn't like your hobby. Others have guessed that it has to do with clutter. Is there another reason? Once we know the reason, there may be other suggestions we can give that will help you out.

I'm also curious, have you ever taken her to the scrapyard with you?

generally speaking, most women dont like scrap bcos its not pretty.

they wont see anything wrong with spending good money on some stupid ornament or frame etc that just sits there & does NOTHING
but they will ***** & moan if u bring home dirty/ugly looking scrap thats going to be in the yard/garage for only a a few weeks max(until u strip & sort it) & which will BRING YOU MONEY.

yes, taking her to the yard might be a good way to get her to see your scrap in a different light
but dont be surprised if it only makes her hate your scrap even more- women are loco in the coco so u just cant say for sure what they will say or do.

Originally Posted by wildliferacer

Scraping metals is really my passion. But, after almost 7 years of doing it, my wife wants me to find a new hobby. She doesn't understand that scraping metals is my only way to cope with my PTSD from previously serving the country. How can I make her understand that it's not easy to let go of something you are really passionate about?

just try to keep it to a minimum- as others said- out of sight, out of mind.
if u can get a separate place to store & strip your scrap, then do that
otherwise just bring home the least amount possible

Thank you all for your responses. I really appreciate them. I asked my wife why she is very hostile to me and my scrapping. She said that I am collecting more scraps that I could handle and they all just ended up being stored in my warehouse for nothing. I don't think she really understands what is scrapping. We are actually undergoing marriage counseling together to help me with my PTSD and for her to help me cope up with it. We're doing good so far and I think we should add scrapping in our counseling sessions so she would understand.

My scrap has taken over .5 of my 1.5 acres...My wife is really getting on my ass about it. I guess it's time to start hauling off all my light iron. We agreed on me using 1/4 acre as a compromise. She never complain's when I make a trip to the scrap yard and come home with cash! I guess I don't really need to hold onto a lot of what I am storing anyway.