If Chuck Norris was a Scrapper...

I'm sure many on this site know about famous martial arts guy and actor, Chuck Norris. Amazingly this tough guy is 78 years old and still an exercise freak. I've seen all kinds of jokes about him. Basically all of them are about how tough he is. I got to thinking- what if Chuck Norris was a scrapper? What would it be like for him? Here are a few things I thought of:



1) He's so tough he'd floss with bare bright.
2) Mysteriously the scrap yard would always round up- on both weights and prices paid.
3) Aluminum cans would crush themselves at the mere sight of him to avoid a far greater punishment.
4) He would take apart TV's while they are still plugged in- any shock would get his juices flowing even more than usual.
5) He'd use dangerous PCB's from old ballasts for his new sports drink. He'd sell it as a way to treat cancer, saying you've got to fight fire with fire.

Any others you can think of? This could end up being a pretty funny topic when all the creative minds on this site make their contributions.