i might have to give up scrapping i mean im in tears as writing this because you guys have been here for me ;(
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i might have to give up scrapping i mean im in tears as writing this because you guys have been here for me ;(
Why?
dumb future uncle acts like hes my dad and like i have a junk pile out at my grandparents and he convinced them that it needs be got rid of
well, tell him that u make $ average monthly out of scrap & unless he is prepared to give u that much monthly or arrange a nice job for u, he should shut up.
if i told him that he'd say "well you need so much for a load" ive never taken a load in no one will take me
Future uncle? Not blood related tell him to go piss in the wind!!!
he'd whoop my a$$
My advise to you hunter & scrapper would be to respect your elders and do as they wish. I see in one of your other posts you are only 14. You have your whole life in front of you to scrap stuff. Maybe have your future uncle help you load it and sell it. If it's a decent pile maybe it will open his eyes as to how much money can be made. I feel for you, but sometimes there are liability issues with piles of junk on property, or issues with the authorities not wanting an eyesore in the area. Good luck.
Read my signature line. It all in the way you say something. You sometimes have to make a stand for what you know is right and what is rightfully yours. It may help also to get a few of your relatives that know how hard you worked for what you have and ask them to get him off your back.
my mom hates that i scrap all she sees is a mess same as my dad
How does your aunt feel about it? maybe sit and talk to them and explain how this makes you money and ask if one of them would help you take it in and they can see the ticket/end result. After that, maybe they would work something out with you , give you a certain amount of space to use and help you turn your stuff in if you offer to give them gas money afterwards. Is there a shed on the property you could use?
Respect is a two way street no matter how young or old someone is. HnS has taken the initiative to work hard and and make his own money. He could have easily been like other teens who sit on their a$$es all day, play video games and ask mom and dad for money. Now an outsider wants to take it away...BS!!!! You let someone walk over you once they think they can do it all the time.
Don't be too worried, there are ways around this. Take this load in that he wants you to get rid of, then you need to be more creative about your scrapping. I live in an apartment and I cannot keep a scrap pile around so I keep the most valuable items. I keep stainless, aluminum, copper, and copper wire, I have one work table and a couple boxes of scrap strategically stashed so they're out of sight out of mind. Hoard the high value metals until you have your own place, or a place where you are allowed to pile up the bigger things. Non-ferrous metals, if you break them down all the way, can be stashed anywhere.
well he is one of those guys who thinks he knows every thing
its just he acts like hes my dad and he insults everyone and doesnt care ive been sick of since the first time i meant him
Sounds like new uncle has an eye on grandparents property to me. Maybe someone close by from here could help you out, i would rather see you have to split a ticket with another member than cut in your future uncle for a piece. Wish I was close kid, I would do it for nothing. Whatever happens dont let it sour you on making your own money and trying to do things for yourself.
It'll come back to him one day and he'll be sorry.
i mean i have a terrible temper and he just acts like he can insult my family that anit happening anymore im fricken sick of it
How big is your pile? If it is enough to fill a 10 yard dumpster, try talking to a rubbish company and see what they would charge to haul it for you. Another option would be to find a fellow scrapper and work a deal, maybe a 75 / 25 split.
Losing your temper is a sure fire way to come out on the losing end. Use your head and be smart. I like the roll off idea. I would also think if maybe a friend has an older sibling that has a pick up or other vehicle that would be willing to help you out. Cover gas and lunch and i am sure you could find someone.Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterandscrapper
I like the shed idea. Could you maybe save up enough money to buy a small shed at a home improvement store? May not be a lot of room, but at least you could still scrap/store smaller stuff.
Sounds like there are a lot of issues that are not obvious here. This is a future UNCLE not father. The property is the grandparents' that he has been using. The first thing would be to discuss the issue with your parents and grandparents. Get their perspective. How is someone who is not even a family member dictating terms to this degree? Who is giving him that authority? If nothing else, your questions to them will force them to address what seems to be bullying. However, keep cool and open-minded. Shouting and being offensive will not be conducive to two-way conversation.
Am I the only person on SMF that thinks a 14 year-old should respect the wishes of his parents/elders? I feel for h&s as much as anybody, but we are only hearing ONE side of the story. If my teenager came to me with "my friends on the internet said you should piss into the wind!" Yeah, I'd be more than a little upset. Maybe I am old school. I should just move into the nursing home. Then I'd be in the same boat as hunterandscrapper. They wouldn't let me scrap there.Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterandscrapper
His parents don't like the idea that he scraps but have allowed him to do it. He obviously has permission from his grandparents to keep his scrap on their property. Now an outsider comes in and starts throwing his weight around and wants to take something away that is not his right to take. Maybe we haven't heard both sides but from other posts by the op and some pm's that we have spoken on I will side with HnS. He's a good kid that has tried to do right by his family and stood by his girlfriend when she was sick.
I stand by what I said earlier based on what I know of him.
Yes I think that too and I would not go tell my dad to piss in the wind but what I've heard so far is that the scrap is on the grandparents property which it does not appear they are concerned about so why is this "future uncle" getting involved it's not his property or scrap. I'd be proud to have a hard working son one day and that's what I'm doing now working to actually do something not sit around and beg for money.Quote:
Originally Posted by pjost
"Punch him in the face" Lol, Had to say it.
Could you just move it behind the garage so they cant see it?
I did not tell the op to tell his dad to piss in the wind.
they live out in the sticks and you cant see it
I'm not saying you did I would be thinking that too I was posting because another forum member appeared to have that impressionQuote:
Originally Posted by BRASSCATCHER
Ok sorry bout your situation ,but there is a easy answer to your dilemma if the grandparents don't side with you .
Like others have said can you build a shed ? I also live on a farm and have a unsightly metal pile outside . Mine is tucked behind the barn and is seldom seen by anyone . Do you have a garage space ? Do you know any local scrappers ? You could trade you steel for copper or any other dense more profitable metal . Then the pile is gone and you haven't lost a thing . At your age you should respect your elders and listen to what they say . It's a 2 way street and if you can explain your intentions without loosing your cool you may be able to continue . Work on that temper as life goes on you will be conversing with strangers and losing your temper is the equivalent of losing that job . There is always ewaste you could trade for as well . Good luck it gets easier from here on out .
As Brass said "stand your ground", but also remember to be respectful to all involved. Starting with your Mom/Dad & Grandparents work with them. Your at the same age I was, when I first started earning my own money, my family valued that and yours should too! You need to evaluate your resources (family is your best), number one priority. Next resolve the issue of transporting your scrap (valuable commodities) to nearest recycling center. This needs to be a regular and profitable event. Need to find a trusted, willing, and able person, to transport your scrap. That person has to be of legal age to drive and sell scrap for you. You will have to fairly compensate (pay) this person, as you should. Work hard at this and even harder at educating yourself. Get control of that temper "thing", in my life anytime something went wrong for me, it was my temper that really went wrong!
I feel like i'm trying to put a jigsaw puzzle together and somebody hid half the pieces. :(
Every situation is different. In order to understand you have to talk with everyone involved and get their story. Then you can put it all together and maybeget an understanding of where the problem is and how to go about fixing it.
This is an awful burden to put on one so young :
When you feel like you're getting " head up " can you just pause for a bit and take a deep breath? Maybe go for a walk ... anything to take yourself out of the mix. When you're pissed off about something it's impossible to see things clearly. You can only see your side of it.
When the mouth is open the mind is closed. Try to get people to talk about what's on their mind and listen attentively.
Think before you speak and then choose your words carefully. Sometimes it's better to mull things over for a day or two before responding to what someone had to say.
Reason things through ....
Work with everyone involved. Try to build a consensus and find compromises that everyone can live with.
On some level .... we all think that the world revolves around us. It doesn't ....get past that ! This may be all about you and what you're doing but more often than not it's about somebody else's particular brand of crazy.
There's only so much we can do for you. Perhaps a bit of advise on how to handle the situation and maybe come out on the winning end ?
I hope it all works out for the best. :)
ETA: Almost forgot the most important thing ...Never take the things that others say or do personally.
OH, OKQuote:
Originally Posted by pjost
hes only 14
then he should just obey his elders.
but at 14, how can u have a future uncle?
i think ur still too young for that stuff
but anyways, just do whats right
Just listen to your elders? The young fella is trying to make money an do work at his age.
I agree, you should respect your elders. This is a case of stand your ground, but also be respectful. Make a list(remember it if you don't want to read the list while talking to them) of why it's good your doing this. I'll start..
1. YOUR own money. Not your parents, or grandparents. It's a good way to learn to be responsible with your money.
2. Gets you into creating a work ethic.
3. Helps you become more responsible when your old enough for a 'real' job.
4. You don't need an allowance. Your making your own spending money. No different then a lemonade stand.
5. Teaches you to do for yourself, an not rely on others to buy you things, or give you things.
6. Experience for the real world. Mom an Dad won't always be there to support you, nor should they be.
7. Use example from here of other young scrappers. RedCross, Kochy, an if I recall right, even S4E. Jord also tho he's not a teen. THey all share a trait..their young, an their doing it successfully.
Continue on as you need to. Going by what I know of H&S, here an also via PM's, his grandparents have no objections. If they don't then yes..everyone else, as BC put it.."Can piss in the wind". Don't use those words. Always be respectful in your argument. Losing your temper will lose you the debate before it even gets going. Kinda like fighting on the internet. lol.
I'm all for respecting your elders an listening, except when it's something silly like this. The kid is trying to work. He's trying to make some money. He found something he likes, an he's trying to do it. Sometimes..Parents are wrong. It's not like their telling him to go to school an he's saying no here. The young man is doing something we all ***** about the youth of today not doing..wanting to work. I hear friends ***** an moan all the time about how all their kids do is sit around watching tv, playing games, texting, living on a cell phone.
Here we got a young man, who is outside, being active, an building a love for something he might wish to do when he's older. Seems to me the parents should be proud of him for taking this upon himself at his age. I applaud him, an while he's no relation of mine, nor do I know him in person, I'm proud of him for trying to do something his fellow peers aren't. Sometimes, parents should just listen to their kids.
On the uncle thing.. I feel your pain. I had one like that. He's now an ex-uncle. ;) I don't even talk to the other one I'm blood related to, due to how he treats my family. I don't got daddy issues, I do have an uncle issue tho. LOL.
Anyways..talk to your grandparents, an make sure they are ok with your pile. Talk with your parents an explain why this is a good thing for you. Do it respectfully tho. Don't get sassy, don't throw a fit if things don't go your way. If you do that, all your arguments about being mature enough, etc go out the window. Show them you are learning something, it's not just fun and games. I'm sure your parents just want what's best for you.
One other thing...is your pile as tidy as you can make it? If not that could be part of it. Keep it as tidy as you can. Stack things, use buckets/totes/whatever containers you can. DON'T Make a mess of it. It's why my neighbors don't get mad at the work I do under my carport, an stuff I keep there. I keep it tidy, an stacked, etc. If it was a mess they'd be all over me along with the county an town. It's no so nobody bothers me.
As the Fresh Prince sang..."Parents just don't understand". Yes! I got to use a Fresh Prince of Bel Air quote in a post! ;)
Sirscrapalot - Choose a job you love, and you will never have to work a day in your life. - Confucius
The video for all you old guys with a bad memory... ;)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jW3PFC86UNI&feature=kp
Sorry hobo, beat ya to it!
This is a problem I would hope to have when my son is 14 . Like my father would say in four years you can go and do whatever the **** you want . Fact is your under their roof and they are responsible for you . Have you been hurt scrapping ? There has to be a reason they don't like your steel pile . I say sell it off make them happy and dive into ewaste head first .
Computer nerds are worshiped , scrapers tend to be looked down upon . What is your soon to be uncle in laws profession ?
I don't want to assume its white collar but if it is that would make sense . Either way you will learn something from all of this so don't get upset .
Maybe trade that pile for a shed on craigslist , trying anything is better than being upset and doing nothing . Like others have said there has to be more to the story
Hummm .... obey your elders. That could be a problem.
There are two kinds of people. There are followers and there are leaders. Neither one is any better than the other. It's simply who you are.
If you're a follower then be a good follower. Obey the orders of those above you.
Being a good leader is something else.
This young man is showing initiative. Seems like he's a self starter. It's not like somebody is telling him he's got to go out and work. He's doing this on his own. It might be better to give him a bit of leeway (with guidance ) while he's doing what comes naturally to him.
Why not become a Doctor , Legal eagle , MD of a multi million $ firm , angry young man , filmstar , rock n roll star. Or just be 14 years old and follow your dreams ....keep it tidy ....think though you reasons you want to 'scrap' .... People shouting never seem to hear or be heard.BUT keep your options open , sometimes a logical talk with those who don't see your side of things MAY see the -'I want to do this at moment BUT will work hard to goto college and pursure the route of getting a professional career'.Quote:
Originally Posted by hunterandscrapper
If i was 14 and knew what i now know .........The world would be a lot different....Or mine atleast......
British CRAP i'm old ..........And talk it ............lack of beer ...........
If you still love this game (I do for many reasons (the main one is i have to think and be true to myself)Go for it , i love being my own boss and not being told what,when and how to do it (except for SMF peeps - They have lived n learn in the crazy 'school of life' and realy have (;)great/good/not so good/rubbish ideas),
Hey British..maybe save one of those beverages for yourself that your sending. ;)
Good input from all. Hopefully it'll help the lad out.
Sirscrapalot - I'm not old, I'm just aged.
Use the extra time to research old threads. Developed a business plan for when you can legally make your own decisions. If you are really serious about this business this can be an opportunity to really learn about this business. There are no problems only solutions. John Lennon
John Lennon is alive! He just posted, right above me! I knew it! So tell me John, is it fun to chill on that island with Tupac, Biggie, JFK, an Elvis?
I kid I kid. I know what you were doing. ;)
Sirscrapalot - Likes it when others quote.