What is the deal with people selling cars.. Why the Attitude?

Ok so I went "a-hunting" for a vehicle this weekend. I had 3 potentials, one I snagged, One they wouldn't accept my offer, and the 3rd.. well the third is where the rant comes in.



Dateline Saturday: So this guy has an ad on CL.. he has no phone number listed in his ad. I send an email, he still has it. I said "Great, I will be up there on Sunday (I was looking at another vehicle in the same area,) I wanted to know if I could come take a look?" This is about 45 minutes away, so I really wanted to meet at some point on Sunday and try and strike a deal. He says yes Sunday would work for him, I asked him to call me or text me so we could discuss a time, also asked if I could get an address so I could Google map it- I always have my phone- but am not at the computer an awful lot. No call, no text, no email. He sends me another email 2 days later (Monday) and says. "So what do you want to do about this vehicle?"

Being that he never got back to me, and something in the email communications seemed off to me, I wrote it off- figured he sold it or whatever since he never got back to me. I was actually shocked to get the email Monday. So I send him a message saying "Thanks, but I think I am going to pass" His Response back to me "Whatever"

Seriously? I have an adult conversation, trying to make big boy plans to meet up and buy something from you- you never get back to me and then get pissed off because I respect my time.. even though you apparently don't? Just venting.. This all comes with the territory.. but really- you put a freakin ad on Craigslist wanting to sell something.. then get mad when people aren't at your beck and call El Douche?

I see things like this all the time, and it seems as I get older, it I notice it more, or it's happening a lot more.

At some point people just stopped being polite to each other. I don't know how or why this happened, but it seems like over night people in general, and I'm not talking about most people on this forum, just decided that being polite wasn't worth it anymore.

Also things like opening doors for each other, and women, pulling out chairs for your date, offering to pay for a coffee, letting someone with one item go ahead of you when you have 50 in the grocery store line, saying thank you and please. All these things, and so much more, seem to be fading away. I get the strangest looks because I was raised right and treat people properly. But I don't think I should be getting any special attention for being how I am, I believe that it's just simply how people should be.

One of the things I like about this forum is that it seems to be full of people who hold these types of values. I cannot tell you how many people I have spoken with, or exchanged emails with, from this forum, who display the kind of common courtesy I see missing out in the world today.

Anyway, I understand your rant, and agree with you. There should have been communication, and he should have treated you better after he failed to do what he said, and you didn't want to deal with him anymore.

Scott

Scott-
Well stated sir! I agree with you 100%, I hold a door for anyone I see coming in behind me, I am teaching my son and daughter to do the same. I'm sad that people are surprised that I do that. They say things like "Why thank you" which is telling me it has been a very long time since someone has done that for them.

I also believe in being on time, I'm the guy that if I say I will be there- I will, and on time. That is also missing from the world today. All of us on the planet have the same amount of time, I respect someone's time and I do not feel it unreasonable to ask the same in return. In this instance, I literally sat at the computer refreshing my email until the moment I walked out the door- hoping I would get a response, phone in my pocket in case he decided to utilize the phone number I had given him twice in email communications. I thought- well I have about 45 minutes up and probably an hour of working the deal and loading time- maybe the phone will ring. It never did. So as I said- I just let it go- thought "Well this one got away- no biggie"

I'm seeing a strange paradigm shift in people- they have seemed to have gone to extremes- they are either self-absorbed and cannot see/notice/or be bothered with you or how you feel, or they are so nosey they have to get into your world even when they are not within their rights to do so. Ex: Just yesterday my wife had to get ahold of my son's arm in a parking lot- they tend to dart, she simply grabbed his arm and pulled him towards her- for his safety. Some complete stranger pulls up in her car and starts yelling out the window "You really shouldn't treat your kids that way" and then drove off. My wife was so stunned she had nothing to say- she wasn't hurting him, she wasn't even mad at him.. this woman sought to make it her business to make my wife feel horrible and have to justify herself.. just for being a parent.

Can't tell you how many times people email me off my ad, i reply and get nothing back. Or i email about a car, and get nothing back. Ex: saw a van for sale for 350 obo. I email and ask nicely if he'd accept 250. Nothing. Ok no worries. 3 days later i see the same ad, and it been updated. Now 300obo NEED GONE.

OK bud i emailed you, twice. I WILL GET IT GONE FOR YOU. Why wouldn't he have emailed back. If he woulda replied and said no 300 the first time i still would have bought it. Emailed him the second time again offered 250. Nothing. Again. I don't get some folks.

sollozo: No worries, It is a ranting thread, and your post is along the line of the "sad decline of our civilization" I am very honest with people- I could probably fib and get a lot more cars, but I won't. I make all my $ honestly and plan to keep it that way. I looked at a car yesterday- lady said she wanted $500.. mind you this is a $200 car- no more.. not even $200.01. I offered her the $200 and she said "my husband would kill me if I sold it for less than $400" I said "I look to see if cars can be repaired, if they cannot- I have to buy at scrap prices because they may indeed end up at the yard" I spoke with her for a good long while. She said "Well we scrap ourselves.. but my husband will never get around to doing it" She said "We could probably get the $400 at scrap" I asked "Do you have the means to get it to the yard?" she himmed and hawed and said "Weeelll yeah... we could" My stance was- If I were her I'd take the $200 cash and remove the headache, I'm willing to take the time, outlay the cash and do the work to make that $400.. heck she even knew about a converter on it- but didn't know where it was- she said "Yeah its in the back somewhere" I said "Do you want me to show you where it is?" (It's actually below the manifold in the engine and not inline under the car) She said "Nope nope.. don't tell me- I don't want to know because my husband will make me take it off" I left my offer on the table.. maybe I'll get a call in a few days.. maybe I won't.. remains to be seen!

Bear- Oh you are absolutely right sir.. It is a "Me" society.. not just a generation. I'm not sure but it seems that maybe it started with a generation and it has spread to other (older) generations.. maybe with the onslaught of social media.. When a 16 year old girl constantly posts on say Facebook "Me Me MEEEEE" and her aunt see's all the "LOL's" and "Whoa you are so awesome" she also gets the idea that if it is "All about me.. everyone will perk up and give ME some attention as well" With the way that life literally streams by online, news is instantaneous and attention spans are shorter. I still think about every one of those kids at Sandy Hook Elementary School.. I'm sure most of the world has nearly forgotten them all already.. because something else is newer, more horrible, more catastrophic today.

Wow. I get this inconsiderate stuff all the time. Glad it is not just me.

How to fix it is not in our ability, but this country has lost it's edge on dealing with people. Too much of a "me" attitude and I don't know how to deal with it.

I guess that all I can do is influence the grandkids to the best of my ability to keep the true American spirit going.

Way back when, some of my buddies came up with a mantra that was pretty good. "work as hard as you play, and play as hard as you work, and never interfere with anyone's ability to do the same"

Those basic rules can go a looooong way.

Originally Posted by parrothead

Wow. I get this inconsiderate stuff all the time. Glad it is not just me.

How to fix it is not in our ability, but this country has lost it's edge on dealing with people. Too much of a "me" attitude and I don't know how to deal with it.

I guess that all I can do is influence the grandkids to the best of my ability to keep the true American spirit going.

Way back when, some of my buddies came up with a mantra that was pretty good. "work as hard as you play, and play as hard as you work, and never interfere with anyone's ability to do the same"

Those basic rules can go a looooong way.

I should add that the other mantra we had was " you have the right to do with your body and property whatever you want without interfering with another's right to do the same. That is the real one that basically could replace all law if it were applied. Think about it.

anybody know what happened to the "golden rule" that I'm sure most all of us were taught? You know the one about treating others as you would want to be treated. I really stress that on to my two little ones, especially when they start fighting with each other. All of this "ME" stuff now a days is for the birds.

Yes ok, I need to watch over "me" but be nice to others the while doing it.

I guess we live in a time warp in this area. I always try to hold the door for people here and for the most part get a thank you but there are still the rare times I get a wierd look.

I was in Home Depot last week and on one isle there was a lady trying to load 3 commodes onto a cart. I was going to offer to give her a hand loading them on the cart but before I could offer she (in a smart ass way) said I can handle this. Now I'm not generaly a rude person but I told her no problem I believe in woman's equal rights and let her wrestle with them herself.

Originally Posted by NobleMetalWorks

...One of the things I like about this forum is that it seems to be full of people who hold these types of values. I cannot tell you how many people I have spoken with, or exchanged emails with, from this forum, who display the kind of common courtesy I see missing out in the world today.

Scott

Agreed and thank admin for setting it up that way from the beginning. While reasoned debate is expected, bashing other members is not tolerated. We've had our share of obnoxious people and they were asked to either be polite or find a forum better suited to their outlook on life. Some took more persuading than others.

Originally Posted by Mick

Originally Posted by NobleMetalWorks

...One of the things I like about this forum is that it seems to be full of people who hold these types of values. I cannot tell you how many people I have spoken with, or exchanged emails with, from this forum, who display the kind of common courtesy I see missing out in the world today.

Scott

Agreed and thank admin for setting it up that way from the beginning. While reasoned debate is expected, bashing other members is not tolerated. We've had our share of obnoxious people and they were asked to either be polite or find a forum better suited to their outlook on life. Some took more persuading than others.

Iv come across some rude people on this forum. Its very rare but still around. For the most part everyone's great. Very helpful and nice about it. I see a member or two though, not gonna mention names, who i can see are trying to give advice but in a very poor way. Almost seems like he/she are indirectly calling you an idiot while trying to give you advice. I just ignore those types. I don't know everything and don't try to make it look that way, and i don't need people making me feel stupid when i ask a question. Like i said its very rare, and Im very happy about that. Makes this a great forum to be apart of.

Originally Posted by jord0690

Iv come across some rude people on this forum. Its very rare but still around. For the most part everyone's great. Very helpful and nice about it. I see a member or two though, not gonna mention names, who i can see are trying to give advice but in a very poor way. Almost seems like he/she are indirectly calling you an idiot while trying to give you advice. I just ignore those types. I don't know everything and don't try to make it look that way, and i don't need people making me feel stupid when i ask a question. Like i said its very rare, and Im very happy about that. Makes this a great forum to be apart of.

With a strong feeling I am at least a part of your conclusions/comment here, I would like to say this, jord. Attitudes here are a lot more prevalent than noted, but that is a whole nother issue, as I am only able to be responsible for my own part of it. Where I grew up, if I ever really did, it was vital to say what needed saying as short and direct as possible, mens lives depended on it, and diplomacy was a very distant matter. I actually now envy those who are more "heart to heart" than "right between the eyes", but, once you've been there, it's pretty hard to shake. I am certainly no diplomat, although that is one part of me I wish could be corrected in some way, and who knows, maybe someday it will, I truly hope so. In the mean time, I'd like to apologize if I have appeared to be rude and judgemental, while intending to try and be helpful. I feel there is nothing more important than offering youth as much of the good as possible, and to hope they will be willing and able to do something good with it.

Originally Posted by Bear

Originally Posted by jord0690

Iv come across some rude people on this forum. Its very rare but still around. For the most part everyone's great. Very helpful and nice about it. I see a member or two though, not gonna mention names, who i can see are trying to give advice but in a very poor way. Almost seems like he/she are indirectly calling you an idiot while trying to give you advice. I just ignore those types. I don't know everything and don't try to make it look that way, and i don't need people making me feel stupid when i ask a question. Like i said its very rare, and Im very happy about that. Makes this a great forum to be apart of.

With a strong feeling I am at least a part of your conclusions/comment here, I would like to say this, jord. Attitudes here are a lot more prevalent than noted, but that is a whole nother issue, as I am only able to be responsible for my own part of it. Where I grew up, if I ever really did, it was vital to say what needed saying as short and direct as possible, mens lives depended on it, and diplomacy was a very distant matter. I actually now envy those who are more "heart to heart" than "right between the eyes", but, once you've been there, it's pretty hard to shake. I am certainly no diplomat, although that is one part of me I wish could be corrected in some way, and who knows, maybe someday it will, I truly hope so. In the mean time, I'd like to apologize if I have appeared to be rude and judgemental, while intending to try and be helpful. I feel there is nothing more important than offering youth as much of the good as possible, and to hope they will be willing and able to do something good with it.

No man your not one of those guys. I see you posting all the time, and haven't read anything rude... Yet. Joking lol. 99% of everyone here are great people. Just get the odd one that's a jerk. And I don't have a problem with others being stern/firm with other guys. Sometimes its needed. Like you said, short and sweet. But its not too difficult to be firm and polite. I guess some guys just don't care.